This Undeniable Expression.

Posted in Uncategorized on January 5, 2011 by PerfectlyDisordered

What has been said that isn’t already bled dry? Could I rip out the heavens, pull them from the sky, and show you it’s beating heart? Not nearly fast enough, I dare say. Could I paste it all back up, with expensive, high grade tape, a miraculous blind sight? Done so quickly, so shabbily that it would just all collapse again? All to easily, I’m afraid. But I can’t stop the river, I can’t squelch the heart, no matter how filled with debris and too little space. And the current only fights it’s way further with more determination, as only thoughts are left to sow. The story line of fondness, fierceness of fright and filled in blanks. Trapped in a soul of writers stench. But there are moments when I’m struck by that amazing. To see a child’s eyes so filled with love. A force of life being mended one tragic realization at a time. Even if the pathway is difficult there is beauty to be seen. It’s in the little moments that are almost lost in the seams. I’ve been to those hollowed halls, I’ve followed the decaying path…and I did my best to plant beauty in the corners. All with the most genuine of lighted spirits. With the breath of longing so close, I bet you still feel it’s warmth. And if hell is repeating it all over and over again, I would sell my soul for little else man. The bittersweet madness of this undeniable expression.

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The purpose of the Machine.

Posted in humanity, Poetry on September 21, 2010 by PerfectlyDisordered

If it isn’t this or that, then it has to be this. Constantly working out the kinks in a system without a blue print. Oh yes, we can…straight into the ground. Straight into the oblivion that we must all face. Can you feel the awe of it all, the blah of the fall? Can you see the horizon through this one continuous night?
And yeah, no…It doesn’t mend broken minds, it doesn’t save the spirit of ruins. And Only mold holds the new scraps in place. A frightening grasp of the finality what EVER the reality. What? You can’t see through your gauze? Well, that’s just another layer of poetry that doesn’t make sense. Another art exhibit in a blaze of hubris.¬† Because it’s right in front of you…every step of the way. It’s a terrorist plot, a thousand deep. Blowing up!! Right in front of your face.
And even though comprehension doesn’t make the path, the path does make the way…even though you continue to fight the currents and creatures that follow along. It is always your path. In a system of kinks that don’t connect to rational links. A horror show on a carnival ride that never ends, until it does. With frantic chatter within the walls.
But I bet you still feel the awe of it all…and the blah of the fall. See the small light of the horizon through this darkened night. Because that is simply the purpose of the machine. With it’s many kinks and burnt out links.


“It’s like a UFO sighting happened clear as day; but no one will believe it.”

Posted in Uncategorized on August 17, 2010 by PerfectlyDisordered

“So, you think that was what…love?”

“They have a connection. They show each other the darkest parts of themselves without fearing the other will run screaming for the hills.”

“Because their both psycho.”

“I guess. Still it’s a kind of sharing that most people won’t experience in a lifetime.”

A thousand layers.

Posted in humanity, Poetry on August 12, 2010 by PerfectlyDisordered

Who are we; but a 2-d corpse under a thousand layers of dimensions

intertwined in the binary code, existing between the ones and zero’s.

failing to see each other within the static that holds it all together

buried in our minds, under rubble, under torture, blood without hero’s.

Dusting the planes with shed skin only dampened by forced tears

NO meaning, none to it at all; but the basis instinct to survive.

And that is all we do,

that is all we will ever do under these darkened skies and mounting fears.

Yet, we continue to beg only for sunshine, whilst it burns us black…

right behind our backs, consuming that of life, which little remains.

And it’s sadly amusing when fiction fails to free the fallacy of facts,

when there can be nothing of the sort while living within the cracks.

So, who are we; but tragedy and calamity,

swimming in the same cesspool of the pretentious with false intentions,

as those who know nothing are held high beyond the wonders,

when it is all buried under a thousand other dimensions.

Drown, drown, drown.

Posted in change, Poetry on July 14, 2010 by PerfectlyDisordered

Drown, drown, drown,

straight through the ground.

on a trillion light years of echo’s,

as I suffocate on the sound.

Always hanging  just outside the gallows,

toeing the edge, without courage and too many desperate sorrows.

Despite that hope, which clings and corrodes these mirrored shadows.

I keep confusing forward with back,

staying lost within the scope,

the converged of now.

And it doesn’t get any easier as the wheels wear torn down,

with the cost of replacement, in any life,

near impossible to earn, to learn, to yearn…for this shit imposed crown.

So, oh please, please, please…let me drown, drown, drown.

Blind Drummer.

Posted in humanity, Poetry with tags , , , on April 13, 2010 by PerfectlyDisordered

Does the stench here remind you of somewhere you’ve been before?
I bet it does.
Creeping around corners and slipping through cracks in the floor.
So much so, that you have become those crevices,
fearful of every turn.
Being leered at, thought of as the favorite past time nemesis.
And yet, your heart still beats…
in time with a drummer
that clearly can’t see.

Circle of Clowns.

Posted in humanity, Poetry with tags , , on April 12, 2010 by PerfectlyDisordered

The circle continues…
Words without a fight
destined by this plight
stormy enrichment for all
before death recalls…
that which was so preciously given.
As an internal hell denies the existence of heaven.
Shoved through stone
chewing through bone
Struggling for the center
when there is NO surrender!…
for these emotions of clowns.
Cleverly hidden and humanly bound.
The circle continues…